Happy Birthday To Me 1981

I had my son Tim watch this awhile back and think he would back me when I say this is a very underrated movie that deserves a much higher rating than it gets on IMDB.  Putting the older sister from Little House on the Prairie, Melissa Sue Anderson, and 50's and 60's screen icon Glen Ford together in a slasher movie was a great idea and both do great jobs.

The story revolves around Anderson's character whose had some heavy trauma to deal with in her young life but is anxiously looking forward to her upcoming birthday.  She hangs out with a group of elite students at her school but when all of a sudden they start disappearing you wonder if it's her because she tends to black out from time to time.  Her doctor is Glen Ford and he tries to help her through her problems but is she getting better?

There are plenty of great kills in this movie with a good amount of gore and I would describe it as a thinking person's slasher, not something you could say about many of those type movies from the 80's.  It deals with childhood slights, drunk parents, how the wealthy treat those they think our beneath them and has a very cool twist at the end. 

The bottom line is you should see this movie, you won't regret it. I give Happy Birthday To Me a "B+".

Wrong Turn 2: Dead End 2007

I would usually review the first movie in a trilogy or more before any sequel but I'm not going to do that today.  As much as I liked Wrong Turn when it came out in 2003, the wait until 2007 when Wrong Turn 2: Dead End came out was well worth it.  I think this movie was better than the original which is always a pleasant surprise.

In 2003 the horror fan was introduced to a group of nasty backwoods cannibals who had, for many years, been butchering and than eating unfortunate travelers that wandered through their backwoods area of West Virginia.  They were kind of the east coast cousins of the large family of killer mutations from The Hills Have Eyes.

In this sequel a group of reality show contestants are playing a survival type of game developed by retired military Colonel Dale Murphy.  The contestants are split into teams and left to wander the wilderness area and guess whose area they're playing in?  They couldn't have picked a worse spot for the show, trust me on that.

This movie stars Howard Rollins as Murphy which is a plus right off the bat, he's even better than he was in his role in FEAST.  The young male and female stars of the reality show all do a fine job, but the real stars, the ones that stand out to me are the two young backwoods boyfriend/girlfriend freaks.  There's a mom and dad in the group as well but how the young ones go after their prey, their cunning behavior along with their strength and agility are very cool to watch.  They made this movie much better with their antics and facial expressions; you have to see them to really get the full effect.

I also want to point out that they really make out this bunch of lunatics to be like any other type of family in their relationships with each other; they just aren't like us in any other way.  I should also point that at the beginning of this film is one of my favorite kills in horror history.  I know, not many people have a list of favorites like that but I do.

I give Wrong Turn 2: Dead End and "A".  It would have been nice if the follow-up would have deserved one but it was pretty bad, that however is another review for another day.

Blood Ranch 2006

I watched Blood Ranch yesterday to refresh my thoughts on this strange little horror flick.  I saw it when it first came out and was given it as a birthday present last year.  I know that most dads ask for useful things like clothes, golf balls and maybe tickets to a concert or play they want to see.  The first things I always ask for are horror movies to add to my collection and my family always comes through.   No matter what the title of the movie is that I ask for they understand my passion and spoil me.

Blood Ranch is the story of two college aged couples going on a road trip to Burning Man in the Nevada desert.  While in route they pick up a hitch hiker who turns out to be an Iraqi war veteran.   As they travel further down the road they almost run over a terrified girl who looks like she's been through hell, and she pretty much has been.  After picking her up a black van starts following them and tries to run them off the road.  The van is scared off when the army vet pulls out a gun and starts shooting at it.

One of the group tries to get the girl to a hospital while the rest look for help at a nearby ranch.  This is not a good idea.  They should have figured this out when they saw the scarecrow outside the ranch that looked like a human corpse and what appeared to be a bunch of fresh graves.  But hey, they need help and the pirate looking guy and huge mute that greets them at the fence, well they look like OK guys right?

From that point the movie becomes a kind of House of 1000 Corpses rip off with elements of other horror movies added to the mix.  The cool thing about this movie is definitely all the crazy characters that live at the ranch which is called The Web.  The little pirate looking guy is the actual leader and his name is Spider.  Kind of catchy don't you think?

I love low budget horror with crazy people running around so I liked this movie (though not crazy about the ending) and feel it's worth a watch for the un-general public, not the general public.  That means people like me and my son.  I give this movie a "C" and for those interested the guy playing Spider also played Commander Williams in Star Trek: Enterprise as well as Pierce Riley in All My Children for many years.  He looks a bit different here ladies, keep that in mind.

Feast 2005

  

2005 was a pretty good year for horror films.  Haute Tension, Wolf Creek and Saw 2 were all well received and got very good reviews.  Most people thought the best horror movie of that year though was The Devil's Rejects and it's hard to argue it wasn't as Rob Zombie's follow-up to House of 1000 Corpses was the best road trip horror flick ever made.

That being said, it wasn't the best horror movie that year, FEAST was.  The kills, humor, story that lead to a couple of neat sequels, special effects and most importantly the creation of some seriously ass kicking monsters made FEAST, to me anyway, an instant classic.

FEAST is the story of a bunch of strange characters hanging out in the middle of a bar in the middle of a desert.  Out of nowhere a guy comes in and says to lock the place down because something really bad is heading their way.  That is an understatement if there ever was one.  The creatures that descend on this bar are your worst nightmare come true.  The story is one of survival and I really like how it delved into a little bit about each person in the bar, some more than others.  It's also really neat how they tell the viewer about all of them.

There are certain actors I'll watch in just about anything and two are in this movie, Henry Rollins and Jason Mewes.  One has a much more involved role than the other but both are always fun to watch.  The rest of the cast, including the old veteran Clu Galager do a great job and the movie is fast and full of action from the start to the finish.

DON'T MISS THIS MOVIE.  I give FEAST an A+, I've probably watched it five times and it's almost time for another viewing.

The Uninvited 2009

The Uninvited is the remake of A Tale of Two Sisters and though obviously a bit different is pretty true to that film.  The story revolves around the younger of two sisters, Anna, who's been in a locked down psychiatric hospital for months, since the accidental death of her mother.  She is let out and returns home to her father and sister Alex.  She's not happy at all to find out her father has a new girlfriend, her dead mother’s young and beautiful private nurse.  Their relationship intertwined with her dad and sisters and how they play out make the movie, in my opinion, better than most in this type setting.

The Uninvited is part horror, part ghost story and pretty creepy.  The acting, dialogue and scenery are all top notch.  The movie is paced well and there was never anytime where I felt it lagged or bored me.  That's an accomplishment for this type of film because I favor slasher and zombie films where things are constantly moving as compared to character driven where it takes the story to long to develop.  This story has many different angles to it that keeps you guessing and wondering what exactly is going on, I like that.

It doesn't hurt that Elisabeth Banks and David Stratharn are in this as both are excellent actors.  Emily Browning, who plays Anna, has a few decent horror movies already under her belt with her roles in Darkness Falls and Ghost Ship.  She has the disturbed spooky little girl role down pat, just has that look.

I've seen a few movies lately that have been really good until the end where they've completely lost me and left me wondering what the hell the director or writer was thinking.  This movie does the exact opposite with a great ending to go with the rest of the cool story laid out to that point.  This is the type of movie a young teen could start out with when mom and dad say its ok to watch some horror, I mean after all it is only PG-13.

I give The Uninvited a B+, it's well worth a watch on a cold dark night.

Otis 2008

 
I didn't make my wife watch this movie; I suggested she watch it and she did.  She didn't like it very much, which in truth means not all all.  I on the other hand liked it a lot.  She didn't like the acting, thought it was far fetched and it had nothing but brutality in it.  Males and females tend to look at these type movies in a different way and what I came away with was the exact opposite of what she came away with.  Most horror movies I watch are far fetched but no more so than any romantic comedies

Otis is a hulking pizza delivery guy.  He lives alone in the old house he grew up with and his security guard brother checks in on him from time to time.  His brother sees Otis as lazy, a failure and a slob, all of which he pretty much is.  What his brother doesn't know is that Otis is also a serial killer and usually has a girl locked up in the garage.

Otis enjoys kidnapping pretty young teenage girls and has them dress up as if he's the high school football hero and they're going to the prom with him.  He also calls the parents of the girls he kidnaps and asks their permission to take them to the prom.  He calls all the girls Kim which is the name of his brother's wife who he's always had the hots for.  Oh yeah, Otis is a very sick puppy.

The story revolves around the kidnapping of one certain girl, Riley, and what happens with her, her family and a crazy FBI agent.  They all play large roles in this film. The actors all do a great job except Daniel Stern, from City Slickers, who plays the dad.  I thought he was just too lame and didn't act the way many dads would when faced with what he needed to do.  On the other hand, Riley's mom and little brother are great as is Jere Burns as the FBI agent and Kevin Pollack as Otis's brother.

There's plenty of humor, gore and great dialogue in this movie and it's a lot of fun to watch.  I would have given Otis an "A" but the performance by Stern is so bad I have to drop it to a "B+".  Still though, it's a lot of fun and you shouldn't miss it.
                                                  

Satan's Little Helper 2004

Like Frankenfish, Satan's Little Helper isn't the title of a movie people might want to rent at first glance.  This film though is pretty good and has enough going for it to make it almost a must watch for most true horror fans.  If you can get past the annoying little boy who hangs out with a serial killer for the day you'll be find with the rest of the movie.

It's Halloween on Bell Island.  Big sister Jenna has come home from college and little brother Doug is very excited.  Doug isn't very happy that she's brought home her new boyfriend Alex.  Doug has become very involved in playing a hand held video game called Satan's Little Helper and wanders out into his neighborhood playing it.  He runs into a guy dressed like Satan and brings him home.  The family thinks it's Alex who went out to get a costume so he could hang out with Doug.  The problem is that the guy in the Satan costume is a serial killer.

Amanda Plummer plays Doug and Jenna's mom and is the only name actor in the movie.  The film flows well; it's well written and acted even though the kid playing Doug is a bit much to take.  There are also decent kills and gore.  I love the guy who played Satan; he never talks but does a great job as a truly psychotic killer, but one with a sense of humor.

I enjoyed this little film from Jeff Liberman who did the only horror film I know with killer worms, Squirm, and the cult classic Blue Sunshine.  I give Satan's Little Helper a "B".

Frankenfish 2004

One of the reasons people don't watch certain horror movies is that they're turned off by the title.  In my opinion that's a big mistake because you end up missing some really entertaining films.  A case in point would be this really neat little flick, Frankenfish.  How many of you would even rent a movie called Frankenfish without already knowing that it was worth your time?  Well I'm here to tell you Frankenfish definitely is.

This isn't a cheaply made movie as the budget was three million.  The special effects are pretty much decent, the story is well paced and played out, the acting above average in this type of film and there's enough surprises to keep any viewer guessing as to what will happen next.   I'm pretty sure it was a straight to video releasebut I think if it had been distributed to the big screen that word of mouth alone would have made it some good money.

The story revolves around mutated Chinese Snakehead fish killing people in a Louisiana swamp.   A medical examiner and biologist are called in after a local fisherman' body is found to figure out what killed him.  They end up at what's pretty much a floating trailer park in the middle of this swamp where the dead guy’s wife and daughter live.   All the characters at the park are pretty much what you'd expect in that kind of place and the film is funny along with having some real cool kill scenes.  One kill scene in fact comes out of left field, has nothing to do with the fish and was something you rarely see in any movie, a great idea to put into the movie.

Of course there are people who know all about these fish and they show up to hunt them down which leads to very cool ending sequence.  The only real name in this movie is Mark Boone Jr. and he does his usual stand up job.  The movie is only 84 minutes and there's action throughout the whole run time. 

All my friends and family members that have seen Frankenfish have really liked it. There's plenty of gore, comedy and nudity in the movie so go into it knowing that.  Of course most "b" style horror movies contain all those elements.  I give Frankenfish a "B", not a classic but an absolute good time.

Dance of the Dead 2008

Every year Ghosthouse puts out a group of horror movies, usually eight I think, all at the same time and a little on the low budget side.  About half of them are worth a buy and the cream of the crop in 2008 was Dance of the Dead.  This is the only movie that I can remember where I saw a zombie frog, quite the concept.

The star of this movie is Jared Kusnitz who played the little brother in another cool horror film, Otis.  He plays pretty much the same type of kid here, a high school slacker and class smart ass.  It's the day of the prom and he and his girlfriend have a little spat and she tells him she's not going with him.  She decides to go with the class rich boy who parks with her in the local graveyard for a little romance and alcohol before the dance starts which is a bad idea.

The graveyard is right next door to a nuclear power plant and a leak there is spreading to the graves and, you guessed it, the dead is rising.  At the same time the couple is trying to fend of a zombie attack, some of the class nerds who couldn't get dates to the prom are fighting off another zombie attack in another portion of the graveyard.  From that point forward it's all about the nerds, the slacker, his girlfriend and others teaming up to stop the zombies who are headed for the prom.

There are some really funny characters and situations in this film, including the gravedigger who's been trying to keep the dead in their graves for awhile and a crazed high school coach.  This movie has over the top gore and it's a lot of fun.  The special effects are a little weak at times but that' what you get with a low budget offering, the comedy and dialogue more than make up for it.  I don't understand why they haven't made a follow-up to this yet as the ending looked ripe for it and the film did get plenty of good buzz in the horror community.

I give Dance of the Dead a "B+".

Orphan 2009

If you’re not doing anything tonight and want to watch one of the better horror movies to come out in the last few years check out Orphan.  There’s something very disturbing about creepy and evil little kids, especially girls, and Orphan points that out in a very disturbing way.

The movie is about a couple who has suffered through the heartbreak of a baby death and decide to adopt a nine year old girl from a nearby orphanage.  I thought that was kind of weird considering they had two other kids but to each their own.  The problem for them is they should have waited on a little baby because ending up with a demented psycho is a lot more trying.

Little Esther is not your average nine year old and though her new brother knows that from the get go, his little sister is too small to see what Esther’s really up to and his dad is clueless.  Esther’s new mom finally comes around but is it too late to save her family from Esther’s insane plan?

The atmosphere, music, acting and story are all great in this movie.  The final ten minutes or so, when we finally are shown why Esther is the way she is takes a twist I’ve never seen in a horror flick and it blew me away.  I watch a lot of horror movies and am pretty good at figuring things out but never saw this coming; I doubt anyone else will either.

So take a night off and get ready for a good time with Esther, she’s as nuts as any other kid you’ve seen in movies and worth the watch for sure.  I give Orphan an “A” and think you will to.

House Of 1000 Corpses 2003

   
Most of my family and close friends know that I'm a big fan of Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Corpses and follow-up The Devil's Rejects.  In fact, my first Facebook profile photo was of me with Sid Haig who plays Capt. Spaulding in both films.  As much as I loved both movies I thought Zombie's efforts with his re-telling, because they certainly weren't remakes, of Halloween and Halloween 2 were pathetic.  He needs to stick with original material like this.

Above anything else this movie is about one hell of a crazy family.  There are definite elements of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre here and many people think it's a straight rip off of that classic.  I can understand that, to a point, but there's enough originality for the film to stand on its own. 

The movie opens with two college aged couples pulling into a gas station/road side attraction which they're going to check out because they're travelling cross country writing a book about just those types of places.  They meet the nasty straight talking proprietor, Capt. Spaulding, who’s in full clown make-up.  He sells them tickets to his Murder Ride and gives them directions to where the local legend Dr. Satan was hung.

In route to find that spot they pick up a hot looking blonde hitchhiker named Baby Butterfly.  She says she’ll take them where they want to go but they develop car trouble and end up at her spooky home.  There they end up meeting her giant brother Tiny, her crazy mom, Momma Butterfly, a few other weird relatives and Otis.  All of the family seems to be pretty much under the influence of Otis and Otis is nuts.  Bill Moseley's depiction of Otis is great and the highlights of the film to me are when he's center stage.

Once one of Baby's brothers fixes their car the couples try to leave but it's not going to happen.  They find out what this group of psychos is all about real quickly and the rest of the film is about them trying to escape and one of the girl's father and the local cops trying to find and rescue them. 

I love the dialogue in this film along with the performances of Moseley, Haig and Sherri Moon Zombie as Baby, but everyone does a stellar job.  This film is a must see for any real horror fan and gives you everything you want from a horror movie.  As if there were any doubt, the movie gets an "A".
                                               

Dead Snow 2009

OK it's time for me to review a foreign horror movie.  A lot of people bypass foreign films because they don't want to be bothered reading sub-titles, I know because I used to be like that.  That's a big mistake because there's plenty of great foreign films of all kinds, not just horror, that people should really see.  In the past few years in the horror genre alone there have been really good foreign flicks like Let the Right One In, The Host, The Orphanage, The Devil's Backbone and this really neat Nazi-Zombie horror movie from Norway, Dead Snow.

Dead Snow is the story of a bunch of friends that go to the mountains on their Easter break to go skiing.  The place they go to is, unfortunately for them, near a mountain escape route that the Nazi's used in WW2.  Not only that, there are Nazi Zombies crawling all over these hills. What ensues is what takes place in any other zombie or teen slasher type movie, the bad guys try to kill everyone in sight.

The humor in this movie is great, it doesn't overwhelm the action which is always a good idea and humanizes all the people involved.  It's also cool that throughout the movie there are references in bits of dialogue to many American horror films.   The gore is pretty much over the top at times but hey, we're dealing with Nazi Zombies here so things have to get a bit messy.

Dead Snow is a fun movie and really worth a watch.  I give it a "B".

Blood Car 2007

It's the not so distant future and gas is so expensive cars are found mostly in car graveyards.  The government is everywhere and is run pretty much by crazy C.I.A. types.  Archie is a vegan grade school teacher working on an engine that will run on organic juices.  Archie's having no luck with his engine when by accident he finds out it will run on blood. He's hoping animal blood will work but only human blood will do the trick.
This is low budget comedy horror at it's best. Blood Car won at several movie festivals and with good reason.  The dialogue, though not quite as good as the classic Clerks, is hilarious and the movie never takes itself seriously which adds to it's likability.  The three leads that play Archie, Denise and Lorraine are terrific.  Katie Rowlett as Denise is especially great with lines that left me rolling.

Once Archie finds out his car will run on only human blood and that all the fine ladies in town will do "anything" to ride around in a car, the only problem he has to deal with is how to keep the gas tank full.  Once the government finds out about Archie's car he also has to deal with their attempts to get in on his invention.

Don't let the title turn you off, this is a great little movie that you shouldn't miss.  I give it an "A' and take my hat off to the first time director Alex Orr for this gem.

Decoys 2004

I watched this movie again last night to freshen my memory a bit as to why I liked it when it first came out.  I look at Decoys as kind of an 80's throwback and that was my obvious attraction to it because I love 80's type horror.  It's kind of goofy and a little lame but harmless.  It has some logic that's hard to wrap yourself around but hey, isn't it that type of mindless escape that movies are supposed to provide for the average fan, well a fan like me anyway?

Decoys is the story of a group of female aliens coming to the earth to get some good old male DNA because all the guys on the planet they come from are dead. The goal of this group of female aliens is to seduce young college aged males, pretty much any college aged male and have sex with him. It takes only three days for them to have a kid and it'll take no time to get their home planet up and running.  At least I think that's their plan because that part of the story is kind of confusing.  Problem though is the alien ladies need to figure out a way to make love without freezing their partner to death.  This is making for lots of frozen male corpses being found on the college campus where the movie takes place which can be kind of hard to explain to the administration.

The movie has all the college stereotypes you can think of.  The top athlete whose great looking but dumb as a rock, snotty and bitchy sorority president, smart but good looking girl in love secretly with our hero good guy and lastly his goofy buddies wanting some hot alien love, not believing their pal who has seen the great looking and amazingly built aliens in their true form.  More important to get some than not get some, screw the chances of getting frozen to death.

That's one of the things you find in these type of movies. The female aliens coming from other planets that can always make themselves look like Playboy Playmates. Or if males, they look like guys off the cover of GQ (think Critters and Starman).  They're rarely less than a solid "9" which is why when I come back after my time here's done I come back as one of these morphing aliens.  No more treadmill, weights or watching what I eat, I'll be on auto pilot to a great look.  I can't wait.

I give Decoys a "C Plus".  It could have used a little more in the dialogue department and maybe one smart but ugly alien chick.  At some point I'll review Decoys: The Second Seduction, which was even better.  Watching both in the same night is a good time for sure.

28 Days Later 2002

28 Day Later is the English zombie movie that changed the whole dynamic of zombies. All of a sudden the slow walking slow moving zombies you grew up with in films like Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead, got a whole lot faster.  All of a sudden people actually had an excuse for getting caught and ate by a zombie, they couldn't out run them.

The movie starts with a young man waking up in a deserted hospital. Not only is the hospital empty but so are the streets of London. The young man seeks refuge in a church but that turns out to be  a bad idea as the priest and people inside appear to be lunatics attempting to catch him and killed him. He's rescued by members of a survivors groups that explains to him that a "rage" virus has taken over all of England and millions are now zombies.

This survivors end up at a fortified mansion type military compound where soldiers have erected barriers to keep the zombies out and shoot them night and day, pretty much for sports. The film is a survivor film but speaks to personal relationships and what they become in this new world and to the inhumanity/humanity of individuals.

This is one of the nest zombie movies of all time.  Great story, action/kills, dialogue and being that it gave birth to a whole new generation of zombies can truly be called ground breaking.  28 Days Later gets an "A" and is not to be missed.

Jeepers Creepers 2001

"Every 23rd spring for 23 days it gets to feed".  What a great premise to introduce a new nasty and ass kicking terror to the public.  If I truly ever ran into The Boogeyman I think he'd look like The Creeper from this movie.   In fact, Here Comes The Boogeyman was the first working title of this truly scary film.  The Creeper's a truly terrifying spectre that deserved more than a two film run, a complete trilogy at a minimum is needed when you consider the ending of Jeepers Creepers 2 from 2003.

Two college student siblings played by Gina Phillips and Justin Long are driving home on their Spring Break.  There's obviously some issues the two have with each other but their love for one another is evident. While driving down a country road they see a huge mysterious looking guy dumping something down what looks like a large clothing chute outside an old farmhouse. It looks to them like whatever the objects are they're tied up and wrapped in sheets that appear blood stained.  They go back to investigate and find countless bodies that have been hacked up and sewn together. 

They attempt to convince local law enforcement what's going on but it's to late, The Creeper is hunting them down and killing everyone who gets in his way.  Cops are just another appetizer to The Creeper.  Think of how you'd feel if something was chasing you, had every intention of killing you and there was no way to stop it.  Worse than that, you knew it.  What would you do?

Great kills, a lot of suspense, above average acting for this type of film and a great monster makes Jeepers Creepers an "A" in my book.  I love when a horror movie has cool dialogue throughout and this one delivers in that area as well  ("She did lose her head that night, Trish, and you wanna know what he did for her? He sewed it back on.").  If you haven't seen it run out and rent Jeepers Creepers.

Piranha 3D 2010

I apologize for being late with this review. I was going to review Jeepers Creepers but had picked this up yesterday and my son asked me to review it last night. I wasn't able to watch it until very later and this was the earliest I could write about it. Friends and family that know my schedule will understand why.

I wasn't able to watch this "fish slasher" in 3D but still really liked the movie. The movie is about prehistoric Piranha being released into a lake where Spring Break is in full stride. The fish were able to escape an underground cave after an earthquake opened up a huge fissure. Once discovered the local sheriff and her deputies along with some scientist types attempt to warn the partiers but the fish end up having one hell of a college kid buffet.

The kills are over the top as is the nudity and young guys will love the amount of nudity (old guys who pretend their past that age will love it to) in the movie.  There's even nudity for the ladies and an underwater dance scene that you pretty much have to see to believe. My thought while watching it was how in the hell the two girls could hold their breath so long, no lie.

Piranhas can eat a full grown cow in a matter of minutes so it's not too much of a stretch to think they could pull off what they do to their victims here.  The gore from the kills was way over the top and my favorite part of the movie. Like in any "B" horror flick there's sub-plots and with this one Jerry O'Connell playing an obnoxious Girls Gone Wild type of guy. This is the worst acting job I've ever seen by him, and that's saying something. You'll be cheering for him to die.

I really didn't care for any of the other characters but there are some decent actors in it with just a few scenes like Richard Dreyfuss, Christopher Lloyd and Eli Roth.  I'd have been OK with the fish eating all of them, all the survivors at the end and the crew that worked on the film just to watch more of the kill effects.

Piranha 3D was a fun movie and where it won't win any awards it's not a bad way to spend 90 minutes in the middle of the night. I give the movie a "B".

Gutterballs 2008

I met Ryan Nicholson two years ago at the Fangoria Horror Convention in Los Angeles. He was talking movies and selling his newest film, Gutterballs. I asked Ryan, basically a make-up and special effects professional, what other films he'd directed. He told me one of them was Live Feed. In the most polite way I could I told him it was pretty much a terrible film.

Ryan was a very cool guy and he agreed that it could have been better.  I told him I was a big horror fan and especially liked over the top slasher types.  He handed me a copy of Gutterballs and said it was the movie for me.  I bought it and said I'd give it a  chance. This is the type of thing you're able to do at horror conventions, talk to little known directors, actors and actresses you've seen, take pictures with them (see my profile picture from one) and find films you don't see at Blockbuster. 

Ryan hit this one out of the park for the true slasher fan. The film's acting isn't great but otherwise I liked it a lot. You'll see things in Gutterballs you won't see in many movies you can just walk in and rent. The kills are over the top and it's not for the squeamish. Don't let your kids see this as there is graphic sex and nudity. The film centers around some bad feelings between two bowling teams that result in a brutal rape. The revenge for that rape is what takes place the last two thirds of the film which is set in a closed bowling alley.

True horror is what we saw happen in Arizona a few days ago, what people do to one another pales in comparison to any movie, even this one. The true monsters in our world have names like Bundy, Ramirez, Manson, Bonin and now we can add Loughner to that list.

This is recommended mostly for guys, girls might have a hard time with it...well most girls anyway. I give it a solid "B",

The Stepfather 1987

The Stepfather is based on the crimes of mass murderer John List. In 1971 List murdered his wife, three teenage children and his mother.  The family was living in New Jersey at the time of the crime. The murders went undiscovered for a month due to List's efforts to make people believe the family would be out of town for some weeks. In 1989 America's Most Wanted did a show on List and he was quickly captured while working as an accountant in Virgina. He eventually was convicted and sent to prison where he died.

This movie is dominated by Tery O'Quinn's portrayal of a serious nut. At the beginning of the film we watch as O'Quinn changes his look while in the bathroom of his house. As he walks out we see the carnage he's left behind, his dead family. The movie moves forward in time to where O'Quinn is now a guy named Jerry Blake who works as a realator in a small town. He has married a woman who has a teenaged daughter played by Jill Schoelen.  Schoelen has been in many horror movies and does a great job as the stepdaughter who knows not all is as it seems with her new stepdad.

The times where O'Quinn has his crazy mood swings and the eventual final showdown between he and Schoelen will make some people cringe and make for a great ending.

To see what of the great acting jobs in horror films you need to see the original The Stepfather.  This movie gets an "A" from me.

Night of the Creeps (1986)

Night of the Creeps is pretty much what the more recent movie, Slither, is based on. The story revolves around an object striking the earth outside of a small town. Alien parasites that are dislodged from the object infect anyone they can get into. The movie starts in the 1950's and the parasites are kept dormant for 30 years in a frozen body they took over.

In the mid-1980's two college students needing a body to join a local fraternity, accidentally release the frozen body and the parasites start killing and taking over humans, mostly the local college students.  The parasites are almost identical to the fast moving giant slug type ones you see in Slither.

This is a great movie. The mix of horror and comedy is pulled off perfectly.  Tom Atkins as Detective Cameron is terrific. He's been in plenty of other horror movies but this is where he made his name.  Atkins plays the hard boiled detective that can't get over things that happened years before and when not trying to figure out what's going on at the college, he's trying to kill himself.

The B movie dialogue that he spots is classic and Night of the Creeps is the type of movie drive-ins were made for.  I give it an A, don't miss it.

Basement Jack 2009

Well here comes my first poor movie review. I was really looking forward to seeing Basement Jack and boy was I disappointed.  It had both poor and good reviews on line but taking someone else's word on horror is something I can't get with, I have to see films for myself no matter how their trashed by some. The movie revolves around a serial killer who kills families and sets them up in poses after he's done.  Jack  commits these murders only during lightening storms.  This is due to Jack's childhood where his deranged mom punished him by shocking him in different ways.  When she takes him to the doctor to see what's wrong with him he's treated in what manner...electric shock therapy. No wonder Jack is a basket case.

After Jack, while a teenager, slaughters one certain family he's caught due to the plucky teenage daughter survivor, Karen. The criminal justice system however has to try him as a juvenile and due to some shady lawyer type maneuvering he's released some years later ahead of schedule. The story picks up a year after he's released and families are getting slaughtered left and right in a radius closing in on the small town where he grew up.

Even with all this going on not one cop believes Karen, whose been trying to catch him since his release, when she tells them Basement Jack is behind all the recent killings. In fact, most of them believe this skinny little twenty-something is the killer. That's one of the films flaws that you just can't overlook because every cop in it would have to have an I.Q. of about 8 to not see the obvious.

The way cops are shown in this film is to me, a former cop, pretty ridiculous. Two idiot detectives, the over the top hard core sergeant who talks to everyone like their idiots and the rookie cop who kind of believes Karen but won't act on it are old worn out stereotypes that go a bit to far to have any credibility.

The film is full of poorly written dialogue, terrible acting and horrible editing. In two kills you can actually see Jack's machete missing the victims who still amazingly spurts blood and dies. There's one specific kill where Jack's going to put his machete through a guys head whose lying face down on the stairs and before, that's right before the blade goes in the guy is dead!! How does any director miss that when cutting their film?

There are only two positives in this movie. The first is that Tiffany Shepis, my favorite horror actress, is in it. She's the only actor who does a decent job while playing a female cop.  Several of us horror geeks met Tiffany a few years ago at a horror convention and she was so cool we all made her our favorite new scream queen.The second positive is that the film ended.

Stay away from this terrible movie people, I give it a D- (it would have been an F without Tiffany).

BubbaHo-Tep 2002

BubbaHo- Tep is a movie most of you probably haven't seen but it's not only a terrific horror film it's really fun to watch. From time to time I'm amazed at the stories people think up and when cult author Joe R. Landsdale thought up the short story BubbaHo-Tep is based on he must have been tripping on something. How else could you explain his thinking up a scenario where a mummy is knocking off residents of a retirement home where are two of the residents are a former legendary president and The King?

The film takes place in a retirement home in East Texas. Two of the residents are the "real" Elvis and an elderly black resident, played to perfection by Ossie Davis,  who thinks he's JFK.  Part of the pleasure I derived from this film was the actions and dialogue between the two which made me believe, hell they could be Elvis and JFK.

As great as Davis is in his role, Bruce Campbell keeps right up with him with his performance as Elvis. It's kind of sad, at least in my world, that performances in horror movies are so often tossed in the trash come major awards time simply because of the fact it's a horror movie performance. Both Campbell and Davis should have been nominated for their acting in this movie.  Campbell was better than Nicolas Cage in Adaptation and Davis was better than John C. Reily in Chicago. Hey, it's just an opinion but there's a history out there of actors in horror films getting screwed.

This is a cult classic and if you want to sit back and watch a very cool movie without a ton of gore and violence, where the dialogue, direction, story and acting are all first rate than watch and enjoy BubbaHo- Tep. Here's a quick back and forth between the main characters in the movie.

JFK: Just what are you getting at, Elvis?
Elvis: I think you know what I'm gettin' at Mr. President. We're gonna kill us a mummy.
(There's a ton of tongue in cheek back and forth that works throughout the film)

BubbaHo- Tep gets an obvious "A" from me. Tomorrow I'll be reviewing a newer horror flick that I won't be so kind to.

The Descent 2005

The Descent is easily one of the Top 10 horror movies of the last decade. It is visually impressive with almost the entire film being shot in an underground cave system, has characters that you can identify with (even though all of them are females), a constant feel of dread throughout the film and creatures that would scare the hell out of anyone.

The story starts out with a group of six female friends ending a river rafting trip. On the way home tragedy strikes the family of one of the women. A year later the friends reunite to explore a cave system and give support to the one who experienced the tragedy. That story line comes to play when they become trapped in the cave and makes the movie all the more tense.

While trying to find their way out of the cave the women have to deal with creatures that have been living down there for decades and evolved into truly frightening beings. The battles they have with these creatures are great to watch. 

The most disturbing part of this film in my opinion is the claustrophobic feeling I experienced in more than one scene. People have their own ideas on what would be the most unpleasant way to die. I'd take just about anything over being buried alive or caught in an area so tight you couldn't move...anything.

Any horror fan should enjoy this movie which is from the same director who did Dog Soldiers, Doomsday and Centurion. All of those are terrific films on their own but all fall a bit short of The Descent.

The Descent gets a big time "A" from me, don't miss it.

Gimme Skelter 2007

                                       

                                              
Gimme Skelter is the story of a guy who thinks he's the son of Charles Manson. To get Manson's approval and attention he gathers some followers to kill as many people as they can in one night in a small New Mexico town. The story centers around not only this group  but many of the citizens delving into their personal relationships and private affairs.  Mark Chavez, Billy Garberina, Gunnar Hansen and Elske Mccain all do a decent job in the film. Hansen is the original Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and plays the town big businessman. 
I bought this movie two years ago at a Fangoria Convention. Elske Mcclain, who plays the woman with the only Internet service in town and town prostitute talked to me for awhile about the film and told me it was over the top and I'd like it. She was right on both claims.  During the groups attempt to kill as many people as they can they run into a few people who make them work real hard to not only accomplish their mission, but stay alive themselves.
This movie has over the top violence, a good amount of nudity and plenty of gore. It also has some clever dialogue, a few memorable characters and a fair amount of humor. I give the movie a "B" and having seen the next film Chavez and Gaberina starred in, Necroville, I think we can expect better things to come from both. 

Phantasm 1979

Phantasm is a true classic that introduces one of horror's most evil icons, The Tall Man.

This movie centers around a teenage boy named Mike. His parents had recently been killed and because of his loneliness and fear he begins to follow his older brother, Jody, everywhere he goes. While watching Jody attend a funeral at a local mortuary he sees that the local mortician, The Tall Man.   When the funeral has ended Mike sees that The Tall Man is stronger than any normal person should be.  Mike also hears strange noises and sees strange small shadowy figures on the mortuary grounds.  Mike enlists the help of Jody and his friend Reggie to find out what's going on at the mortuary and attempt to find out what the The Tall Man's truly up to.

Angus Scrimm is incredible as The Tall Man. Just looking at him is enough to give someone the shivers and his voice resonates oncoming doom to whoever is in his way.  The mortuary has small troll like beings that do The Tall Man's dirty work, flying spheres and strange rooms that lead to a place that's truly the last place you'd want to ever end up.

I put The Tall Man right up there with Michael Meyers, Jason Vorhees and Freddie Krueger on the "A" list of horror bad guys. We also get our first taste of Reggie Bannister in this movie who plays Jody's friend Reggie. He's gone on to either star or appear in countless horror films and is a staple in the horror community.

I was asked to give letter grades to the movies I review and Phantasm is an absolute "A".  This is a pretty decent movie for a youngster to see when their old enough for their first real horror flick. A minor amount of nudity/sex, not to much blood and gore and it delivers big time on a very creepy atmosphere and score. 

The bottom line is that it's a truly scary movie when watched for the first time and shouldn't be missed.

The Hils Run Red 2009

The Hills Run Red stars Sophie Monk, William Sadler and Tad Hilgenbrink. It's the story of a young aspiring film maker attempting to find a copy of a long lost film called....The Hills Run Red.  He ends up finding the director's daughter and she takes he and his friends to where the film was shot. It turns out the killer in the film is still running around loose and not quite finished with his role.

This is a typical type torture porn slasher that has been regurgitated many times the last few years. It has some decent kills, a nice little twist and Sophie Monk especially does a fine job as the junkie stripper daughter.  Not as good a film as Hostel or Saw but it's a nice effort and worth a watch for the harder core horror fan especially.

Hell Night 1981

This is a terrific little horror movie. The pacing is right, there are a few surprises along the way and the acting and dialogue fine for an 80's slasher. Linda Blair and Vincent Van Patten are the two name stars in this movie that centers on a college fraternity initiation at Garth Manor.

I think that Garth Manor could have gotten equal billing as the star of the movie. It's big, dark and spooky with underground tunnels and trap doors. It's pretty much my idea of a dream home. The outside of the manor is kind of arboretum like and adds to the dark atmosphere of the film.

The story is pretty simple, four pledges have to spend the night at Garth Manor where 12 years earlier Mr. Garth murdered his wife and kids and than hung himself. Seems Mister Garth maybe didn't kill his teenage monstrosity of a kid named Andrew, according to  legend, and when people start getting killed here the question becomes who survives the night.

It's a fun movie with your smart girl, bimbo type, hero guy and party animal making a lively crew. The fraternity president and his computer type genius right hand man have rigged the manor to scare the pledges but obviously all doesn't go as planned.

In my rating system the movies are either...

A) Must See
B) Worth Watching
C) Only If You're Bored
D) Wasted Time You'll Never Get Back

Hell Night is a definite film worth watching so have fun and enjoy it.

Welcome to my Horror Blog

I've loved horror movies since I was a kid. The only thing I ever wanted or expected from any movie was to be entertained by it, but along with that horror movies had to bring something more to the table.  They had to stay with me, and if when I went to sleep at night they were on my mind and I was jumping at every sound I heard thinking it was more than the normal house sounds we all hear, they had done their job.

As a youngster I can remember watching movies like Them, Psycho, Straight Jacket and The Beginning of the End and thinking they were so cool.  Where many of the older movies hold up very nicely to the more recent ones, a new sense of what horror truly is to a person has expanded and been played out over the past 40 years that in my mind has made the horror genre all the more exciting to watch.  Much of that horror has been based on actual people and events which makes it all the more interesting to watch and think about.

I like writing and have wanted to start some type of blog for a long time. Because of my love of horror what I decided to do (was actually talked into doing by some family members) was a daily horror movie review that will tell the person who reads this one simple thing, if  the film is worth watching or not.

I have over 400 horror movies in my own collection and have seen countless more. I started going to horror conventions some years back and have met and spoke with actors, writers and directors in the horror field and found them very down to earth. The passion I've seen in them and horror fans is amazing, it's like a whole way of life that I never knew existed.  I've bought movies at these conventions that don't hit the stores all that often  that are low budget but made with such heart you can't help but want to support the efforts of those involved.  Yeah, I'm not your casual fan.

Knowing me as well as I do I'll probably go off topic from time to time but what I promise to the people who decide to visit here is to not bore you and maybe give you a little info you might remember next time you pick up a movie at Blockbuster and think "Fenton said this movie sucks", and put it back on the shelf.

One last thing for my first post here, I tried several names for my blog before I could find one I could live with.  For those not familiar with the movie Fraility or who Fenton Meiks was you need to see this horror classic to understand why I felt it was worthy of having my blog named after it and using Fenton as my aka.

Hope you all enjoy my blog.